1st Day

Nine months pregnant and two other little ones in tow, I didn’t cry when he went off to Kindergarten. He was ready and excited and it was right.

When he climbed on the bus for the first day of high school, I didn’t cry. But, I did worry…30 minutes away, not knowing anyone, all new school, teachers…Would he find friends? Would these years be happy or painful?

Would he make it?

Snapping pictures left and right as he made his way down the isle in his long navy robe at graduation, I didn’t cry. So proud, so happy for him, and so filled with gratitude that my fears on the first day of high school were unfounded, I smiled and laughed but I did not cry.

He’s not going that far away.

He’ll be in the same town where he went to high school.

He knows a few people.

He’s confident and fun and I have no doubt he’ll be fine.

But home will feel so empty.

He’s funny and quirky and kind.
He leads with quiet strength and conviction.

His “collection” of energy drink cans and numerous pairs of old Asics will be left behind as he moves ahead.

I know he’ll come home again to visit…but it will never be the same.

It’s good it won’t be the same…his independence is something Brad & I have worked towards and prayed for and hopefully he’s prepared.

But the change feels profound and hurts.

And tomorrow, after we’ve unloaded all his clothes, shoes, computer, fridge, and books and said one more good-bye…I just might cry.

Dear Josh,

‘May the Lord bless you

and protect you.

May the Lord smile on you

and be gracious to you.

May the Lord show you his favor

and give you his peace.’

love, Dad & Mom

Numbers 6:24-26 (New Living Translation)


4 Replies to “1st Day”

  1. Thanks Patty. It's been hard for me too and your blog helped me to let it out. No one understands like another mom. Thanks for putting my emotions to words.

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