Delete the sentence.
Stare at the screen.
Stare some more.
Hit “New Post” button and repeat the process.
Walk away and let another day pass.
A million thoughts run through my mind. None seem to stay long enough to be put into actual ideas. Flitting through my brain like a drunken butterfly roaming from flower to flower they never stay long enough to grow and develop.
Posts about rebelliousness. Posts about cancer. Posts about weariness. Posts about hardships and trials. Posts about beauty. Posts about things that upset me. Posts about my family, my kids, my friends. Happy posts. Hopeful posts. Depressing posts. Post after post after post half completed sitting in my “drafts” folder.
My brain’s been thrown into a whirlpool spinning endlessly around.
Unlike writing, avoidance comes easily.
I avoid conflict.
I avoid dairy.
I avoid work.
I avoid people.
I avoid talking. yes…I do…believe it or not….
There’s too much. So much of life feels like it can’t be shared right now. Not in a blog. And not in person. For so many reasons, right now, at least one major part of my existence remains wholly private.
What do I write about when I can’t share the thing closest to my heart and foremost in my mind?