The recommendation forms for my graduate school applications contain a section entitled “Teachability” with the directions to select all that apply and these four answer options:  rigid, argumentative; highly opinionated; open-minded; eager to receive instruction.  I read the question to Brad and asked him what he thought. [unfair question to ask an unsuspecting, unprepared husband, I know]  He didn’t answer.  Well, I know I’m not argumentative because I don’t like conflict. I think I’m pretty open-minded. I mean, I’m *not* opinionated.

The silence was deafening.  The look on his face spoke 1000 words.

I am NOT opinionated.


My brain registered what the silence meant and I kept my mouth shut.  Well, that was a tiny exercise in self discovery, hmmm? [said with a Dana Carvey church lady voice]

So this morning as I went about my morning routine, for whatever reason, I was thinking about a friend and  how she spends her time and money and the people she’s choosing as friends.  What a waste. There’s so much more to her than that and yet she consistently chooses frivolous people engaging in meaningless activities and spending money on worthless things.  [Oh, no…I’m not opinionated at all]   She’s going to regret this trivial pursuit of momentary, value-less pleasure.  If only she’d remember the words of Micah … act justly, love mercy and walk humbly with your God.

The words suddenly struck me in the forehead, right between the eyes.

Oh.  Wait.  Act justly.  Love mercy.  Walk humbly.  Could she be doing all those things while she spent time with shallow people?  Why yes, Patty, yes she could…. and can…. and is… acting justly, loving mercy and walking humbly.  The voice of God echoed in my narrow, opinionated mind.  You don’t get to choose who other people hang out with our how they spend their time or if they ever get over the past.  You don’t know what’s best for others.  You’re not Me.  You can’t see their hearts. Only I can.



2 Replies to “Silenced.”

  1. For the record, I’d say you know where you stand on things, but you’re far from “opinionated,” which is such a highly charged word. And you are very teachable. Praying for you on this journey.

    And, I appreciate the overall wisdom of this post. Thank you.

    1. Thanks, Jennifer. I realize I’m not “opinionated” with many things, but when it comes to people, I can form strong opinions quickly. Something I’m working on!

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