If I could just…

If I could just lose 10 pounds… 

That thought tumbled through my musing brain.  I’m not even sure how I finished the sentence in my head.  If I could just lose 10 pounds…people would like me more? I’d like myself more? I’d be happier? I’d be healthier? (I know that’s true) I’d be smarter?  Certainly, that person would have looked at me differently…if I could just lose 10 pounds.

Recently, I met someone who, with one look–no words, just a look–showed great disapproval for me.  Now, I’m not sure if it was my looks or clothes or age (and I certainly understand it was the individual’s issue) but the reaction was unmistakable and as much as I self-talk and try to shake it off, it hurt.  With one look, I was an awkward 13-year-old back in the hallways of middle school trying to disappear into the lockers after the older boys gave me that same look of disapproval.  Ridiculous that a relatively mature, rational 45-year-old can be transported back to an insecure adolescent in one second.  But there it is.  With one look from a stranger, the Accuser whispered lies in my ears and I accepted them, if only for that moment.

So, that’s where my If I could just lose 10 pounds...sentence began.

We all have them, don’t we?  The if I could just…statements…

If I could just make more money….

If I could just manage the money I make better…

if I could just have a spouse who loved me more…

If I could just be smarter…

If I could just have a nicer home….

If I could just have a better job…

If I could just have one good friend…just one…

If I could just have children who behaved…

If I could just be healthy and not have pain…

You fill in your If I could just…statement; I’m sure it’s different from mine, but we all have them. The problem with thoughts like “if I could just…” is, they’re not rational.  They’re based on perceptions of ourselves and our surroundings that may or may not be true and they’re rooted in future expectations and conjectures that are almost never true.

So where do I go from here?  Where do you go from your If I could just… place?  How do we live, true to who God made us to be and not for the approval and acceptance of people?  I know things I do in my own life to combat these thoughts.
Things like…
telling myself Truth about who I am
and to whom I belong
and choosing to dwell on the positive around me
and remembering that I’m loved by my husband and family
and remembering and believing that I’m loved by my God simply for who I am not for what I look like or how smart I am or for my usefulness.

I’m curious, how do you combat the If I could just…statements in your own life?

If you don’t want to post publicly, you can contact me through the “I’d love to hear from you” link in the right side-bar.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s