Driving south on 65, tear stains fresh on my cheeks, I checked my blind spot before pulling into the other lane. I didn’t see the old Cadillac in my mirrors. He sped around me, swerved in front and reading his vanity plates turned my pensive, pursed lips into a smile. LOSTCOZ
Just moments before, praying as I drove, I confessed my sin, my pride, my foolishness to God. Hopeless. That’s what I’d said to God. I’m hopeless. I’m a lost cause. So you can see why the Cadillac’s plates made me smile. They were perfect plates for me, the perpetual LOSTCOZ. I hope you won’t misunderstand my meaning. I don’t think I’m a loser (although, sometimes I do) and I’m not wallowing in self-abasing misery because let’s face it, that’s just another form of false humility and pride. No, I mean, without God, without His love and kindness, I am nothing. As soon as I wander from His grace and mercy and goodness, I get lost in a forest of selfishness and darkness where the world is all about me. And that, my friend, is a yucky place. When it’s all about me, then nothing is ever enough. When life is all about me then I only see my needs and my wants and become blind to both the pain and joy of those around me. When it’s all about me, I evaluate situations and circumstances and relationships by how I feel at any given moment (happy, sad, fulfilled, lonely etc…) instead of stepping back and seeing Truth objectively. When it’s all about me, I’m a lost cause in the worst sense of the phrase. But when I get a grip, and gain a little perspective and stop making everything about me, then the cloudy skies in my mind clear a bit and I see His goodness and grace and am able to see and respond to the joy and sorrow of those He brings into my path.
Okay, ramble-y post, I know, but I hope you get it and I hope, if you’re stuck in a whirlwind of all about me today, you’ll rethink your thoughts.
From Psalm 36:
Your love, Lord, reaches to the heavens,
your faithfulness to the skies.
Your righteousness is like the highest mountains,
your justice like the great deep.
And from Psalm 73:
Then I realized that my heart was bitter,
and I was all torn up inside.
I was so foolish and ignorant—
I must have seemed like a senseless animal to you.
Yet I still belong to you;
you hold my right hand.
You guide me with your counsel,
leading me to a glorious destiny.
Whom have I in heaven but you?
I desire you more than anything on earth.
My health may fail, and my spirit may grow weak,
but God remains the strength of my heart;
he is mine forever.