My heart feels heavy tonight with the pain of life.
Hurt, injustice, selfishness, disunity and strife loom large in my field of vision and I need a shift in my perspective. People (including myself) aren’t what they should be and it’s tiring. I’m exhausted with sin–both my own and the sins of others.
Three weeks and six days ago, Dad died. His beautiful soul left his ailing body and he traveled from life to Life. He went from being with Jesus in Spirit to seeing Him face to face. Not for the first time since he passed away, I envy him. I envy his new reality. I envy the fact that he lives now in the midst of understanding and knowledge and grace, while I’m stuck in the goop of injustice and ignorance and shame.
And I long for Heaven. I’m so happy for him! I love to imagine what his reality is now…What does he see? Hear? Smell? Taste? Feel? How many senses does he have now? still 5? or 6 or 100? or limitless? What’s his DNA in heaven? Do we have a spiritual equivalent to the physical DNA? What’s it like to know fully while being fully known? What is it like to know perfect Love in a perfect environment? Beauty surrounded by more Beauty encased in Majesty and covered in Glory.
All this is too much for me to wrap my brain around and yet I keep trying. I keep searching and longing and pressing on toward the goal until that day when I too can shed dead skin and move from life to Life. And I can’t wait for that day when faith becomes sight and the dim reflections we’re so impressed with now become full-blown Light.
But what about the here and now? Mustering up the courage and strength to continue forgiving and extending grace and loving the way I’m called to love is a moment by moment endeavor some days.
But I believe God is good.
And I believe He didn’t leave us to struggle alone.
And so I cling to His promises and revel in the Hope of Heaven.
Yet God has made everything beautiful for its own time. He has planted eternity in the human heart, but even so, people cannot see the whole scope of God’s work from beginning to end. ~Eccleciastes 3:11
Yet this I call to mind, and therefore I have hope: because of God’s great love, we are not consumed. His mercy is new every morning. Great is His faithfulness! ~Lamentations 3:22
“If you love me, obey my commandments. And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Advocate, who will never leave you. He is the Holy Spirit, who leads into all truth. The world cannot receive him, because it isn’t looking for him and doesn’t recognize him. But you know him, because he lives with you now and later will be in you. ~John 14:15-17
And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. Keep putting into practice all you learned and received from me—everything you heard from me and saw me doing. Then the God of peace will be with you. ~Philippians 4:8,9
Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us. We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith. Because of the joy awaiting him, he endured the cross, disregarding its shame. Now he is seated in the place of honor beside God’s throne. Think of all the hostility he endured from sinful people; then you won’t become weary and give up. After all, you have not yet given your lives in your struggle against sin. ~Hebrews 12:1